Hunter,
Hi. I write this to you, with the sound of your screams still ringing in my ears. You're tiny and red and screaming. And your chin does this little thing where it quivers as you gasp for air. Your hands curl onto my fingers. I wish you wouldn't let go, because your hands are very soft. And you're the cutest thing I've ever seen, screaming or otherwise.
The best part is what happens next: your mama holds you and she says, "knowing him, he'll probably fall asleep now."
Knowing him.
"Funny," I teased her, "How many people can you really say that about...after knowing them for four days!?"
But she knew you. Because just then, cries subside and sleep carries you into baby dreamland: an open invitation for iphones to invade your personal space, snapping mass amounts of photos of your dimple and your hair and your face and all your other stud-like qualities.
All the things that make you, you.
I wondered what knowing you for longer might look like. When the "things that make you, you" become more than just observable (very photographable) traits.
It was exciting then, to think about, all the things you are going to do with this air you breathe. (Your mighty screams suggest you'll do lots.) I decided to compile a list of hopes I have for you. Some day when you're not a baby, I'll share them with you:
1.
I hope you laugh as much as your dad. And when life gets hard, like truly hard, force yourself to smile. Better yet, force yourself to laugh. A fake, over-the-top, dramatic laugh that sounds funny in your own ears. Do this on repeat. Until you find yourself laughing for real. I know it's silly. But do it anyway. (I dare you).
2.
I hope you are fiercely curious like your mom. Curiosity killed cats I've heard, but besides that small offense, it's birthed modern invention and social change and noble expeditions. Be curious about the world and about the people you meet. You don't like the way something currently exists? How can you fix it? Curious minds create a spark. Sparks inspire ideas and change and growth. The world needs ideas and change and growth.
3.
I hope you have a knack for seeking and finding silver linings. Ie: When you find yourself waking up early, it's mostly not on your own accord, and you'll hate whatever it is that so forcibly stole you from sleep. But here's a secret: the sky. Look at it. What color is it today? Is it painted vibrant pink with streaks of orange? A dusted purple wash? A deep blue-black that casts and plays with shadow? I had this awful job in college that required me to wake up at 6am. I'd walk all over campus posting advertisements in every building. I hated every second of it. And then the sun would come up, and it was as if God was saying "Hey, I see you. And you're doing a good job. Look what I made you." And because no one else was awake yet, I felt it was my sky. I'd walk home alone in the silence and marvel at the beauty that I'd otherwise miss if I'd still been drooling on my pillow. End rant. Whatever color the day paints, I hope you notice it. And I hope you thank its painter.
4.
That said, being thankful yields happiness. Be thankful for limbs and for senses and for weird aunts and skies and pizza. I promise you there is always something to be thankful for. Most of the time I'm thankful for cheese. (In my fridge currently is a variety of colby jack, mozzarella, string, and goat)
5.
When you have to make a decision, here's a bit of advice: Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. (Do you listen to the Fray?) We're not called to be like everybody else--because that would be far too easy! Challenge yourself and others to do the right thing. I promise you it's attractive and cool and brave and true and selfless to do the right thing. Not sure what the right thing is? A curious mind and a thankful/prayerful heart is a good place to start.
6.
Whiskey. Your mom won't admit it now, but she loves the stuff! When you're old enough, cheers your mother for having you. (Be easy on her and throw in a splash of ginger ale.)
Finally Hunter (you've made it this far), know that I love you. More than I ever thought possible of another human who I just met. And I'm excited to know you too. Every scream that turns to strands of sentences and later, jokes and heartfelt sentiments. Yes, knowing you looks like my favorite color sky with cheese on top.
Infinite x's & o's,
Your aunt (the weird one) Molly
